When you feel an sentiment of "poor me" that leads to a feeling of isolation, try adding these phrases into your self-talk:
Other people feel this way too.
This is part of being human.
I am riding the ups and downs of human experience.
All humans feel these same emotions.
I am a hurting human among other hurting humans.
I am sharing this experience with millions of other people.
Having problems is normal.
Failing is something every human experiences.
I am not alone in feeling this way.
Other people long for what I long for.
Self-pity isolates us.
With self-pity, we feel like we are the only one suffering. Self-pity might sound like this: Poor me. Why me? Other people have it so much better than I do. Bad things always happen to me. I am the only one feeling lonely tonight. I am the only one without a job. I am always getting hurt. I'm the only one who is this sick. No one likes me. No one understands my pain.
Self-compassion connects us.
Self-compassion recognizes that what you are feeling is part of the human experience. It honors that other people suffered in this same way. Self-compassion helps you see that you are not alone.
Addressing our pain with self-compassion sounds like this: Other people feel the way I feel. I know other people feel lonely too. I am not the only one in human history to fail. I am not the only person who feels abandoned. I am not alone in this experience of pain. I am hurting, but I am not the only one hurting.
Self-pity makes a person feel worse and offers no way out of the suffering. Self-compassion offers a sense of shared humanity, a presence of being united to others who are similarly suffering, and brings a sense of hope for the future.
We are connected in our common humanity, we just have to remind ourselves of that!