The Importance of Healing
It’s not the weight you carry but how you carry it – books, bricks, grief – it’s all in the way you embrace it, balance it, carry it when you cannot, and would not, put it down. ~ Mary Oliver
This beautiful excerpt from Mary Oliver’s poem “Heavy” captures grief work and healing. It’s not about avoiding or eliminating the weight—it’s about the relationship we develop with what we carry.
As a grief coach, there’s a quiet pressure to have it all “figured out”—to be the strong one, the healed one, the person who’s somehow moved beyond their own grief. But here’s the truth: my healing is still a work in progress.
Some days, grief hits me like a wave—unexpected, breathtaking, and disorienting. There are moments when joy sparks up, followed quickly by the ache of remembering that I can’t pick up the phone to tell my mom about it. Most days, all of the love that remains feels like more than I can hold—and somehow, I carry it. I carry her.
Every day, I heal by consciously integrating my grief and honoring my mom. I say her name. I share her stories. I look for signs. I see her love in my kids. This is how I live now: by grieving and showing up.
This newsletter comes to you in August—one of those months where there is a shift in schedules and beginnings. My Mom and I had a lot to talk about this month: the kids, back-to-school prep, first-day outfits, teachers, friendships, sports schedules, and planning her first grandchild’s birthday. So, if you see me around Compassion Fix, and you feel moved to ask, “What would you tell your mom today?” —know that it would fill me with love and compassion to answer.
By leaning into my grief, I’ve discovered that I’m honored to hold space for others who are grieving. There are so many layers, so much to integrate—and you don’t have to figure it out alone. I’m here to walk beside you, to help you “embrace it, balance it, and carry it, ” too.
Tending to my own heart, and showing up one day at a time,
~Jennifer Eckert, MA, CCC-SLP, Certified Grief Coach