To Err is Human

Making mistakes is an essential part of the human condition. Everyone makes mistakes.  Everyone! No one is perfect; there is not a human being alive on this planet who has not made some kind of mistake in his or her life. Most of us accept this fact, but do we ever think about what making mistakes truly means? Too often we view our mistakes as shameful things that should be covered up at all costs, ignored, or dismissed. We view our mistakes as things that inevitably demean us, embarrass us, and make us feel pretty bad about ourselves. 

But, in fact, the way we view and handle our mistakes is an essential element of our own sense of worthiness and self-respect. Mistakes are one of the most important ways that we have of learning to be better at being human. When was the last time that you learned something truly meaningful when it all went perfectly?

If we view our mistakes as things that make us “less,” our self-esteem is going to suffer a roller-coaster ride throughout our lives. If mistakes cause us shame, guilt, and sense of unworthiness, two things are bound to happen. 

 First, self-esteem will suffer proportionally to the number of mistakes that we make, and our sense of self-worth will be tied to whether we make or don’t make any mistakes (good luck with the “make no mistakes” part).   

Second, by being too wrapped up in feeling ashamed, angry, guilty, or upset with ourselves, we miss the learning opportunity that has been presented to us. Viewed properly, mistakes are nothing but a signal that we need to learn something and be better for it. All those negative feelings hijack the thinking parts of our brains, significantly decreasing the chance that we will be able to analyze our mistakes and figure out ways to correct them and learn from them.

 Nobody likes making mistakes; that too seems to be built into the condition of being human. But not liking to make a mistake – that uncomfortable feeling of “oh no…I really messed that up” – is what should give us the impetus to change, to remedy, or to do something different next time. A mistake is a signal that there is something to be learned.

Remember this:  a core element, or principle, of earning and maintaining your sense of self-worth depends upon viewing your mistakes as wonderful opportunities to grow stronger, better, and wiser.  We’ll talk more next time about exactly what to do in order to handle mistakes positively and constructively.